'Acidic' Expectations

May 1, 2009 at 10:19 AM
22 comments

"Must be nice." Ever hear that? Hope you never say it.

That phrase added seventy pounds to my gut. Flashback ten years.

Working out hard, twenty kilometers of Cross Country skiing. Great gobs of sweat. Felt great.

Called my soon to be wife and related my successful workout and she just said..."Must be nice"

I quit.

I allowed her opinion and approval to wipe my motivation.
People pour acid on your success to feel better about themselves. Don't do that. Do not permit other to do it to you.

Choose how you feel and stick to it.

"Freedom come when you tell Mrs. Grundy to fly a kite." RAH

Tim
I realized it is my choice. Here I stand...

22 comments

Comments

Hi Tim,

excellent post.
indeed, what other people say to us, we can have our emotional reactions.
what we then DO with our lives afterwards is up to US.

Personal responsibility in all kind of relationships. Our husband or wife and their influence upon us is quite significant indeed.

Best regards,

April Braswell
Dating Quick Start Expert, Relationship Success Coach

Divorce Support and Bereavement Support seminar, Henderson, Las Vegas

Your post is right on. What others think really doesn't matter for the most part.

Christian Haller

<a href="www.christianhalleronline.com"> Healthy Italian Recipes </a>

I love Robert Heinlein's writing, he is the Sci-Fi version of Ayn Rand... Here are a couple of my favorites that may be relevant to this post...

"TANSTAAFL". (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch)

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

Rob

A "friend" said to me recently when I was talking about this course, "Are you still learning?" My response: "When I quit is when they carry me out in the pine box." It's mind boggling the number of people who think exploration, adventure and learning stop at a certain age. Not me babe!

Pat

Internet Dollars for Business Owners

Do not permit people to pour acid on your success to feel better about themselves... This rings very familiar. It is in part to avoid the too frequent "acidic rains" that I left France a decade ago.

I love your advice: "Choose how you feel and stick to it". One your very best posts, in my opinion.

All the best,
Yann
How to Get Organized, Stop Procrastinating, and Set Goals for Small Business Success

"Choose how you feel and stick to it"

I like that!

JJ Jalopy.

<a href="www.jjjalopy.com"> Life Coaching Business Expert JJ Jalopy</a> <a href="www.howtobecomeacoach.net"> How to become a lifecoach</a>

Must be nice to make posts like that. :-)

It is true, telling Mrs. Gundy to go fly a kite is true freedom.

Steve, The Sales Expert

Sales Eagles - Sales Caoching for the high flyer

Tim, unfortunately you are right. Many people are like that. We call that kind of attitude, "the crabs in the bucket theory" Every time a crab almost makes it to the top, another one pulls it down. Mark

small business marketing

ice cream marketing

Tim,

Well Done!!!

Sometimes when I hear something similar, I wonder if the person saying it has any idea or if it's nothing more than an automatic, sub concious thing seeking a path back to "comfortable"

I don't know, I don't care: they need to go fly the kite!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks

<a href=http://www.”jcmackenzie.com/butterflymarketingmanuscripthtml”>Butterfly Marketing</a>

[this is good]

that was a great post. I really loved it ; it is so true. I did about the same thing now if I could just get some of the weight back off. LOL I think that it is imperative to not allow others to pour acid on us. In my family we call it "duck pecking" because my family says one small negative thing after another. It is like a duck pecking you to death you wouldn't think that it hurts until it adds up.
THanks, Mesha:)

True, so true. People often don't know they are doing it but they are. Some mean it and others just feel compelled to say something when nothing is better. Great post. I like to fly kites but flying them does not need to be preceded by me pouring acid on someone!

Anthony
<a href="http://www.anthonylemme.com/achieve-the-inner-balance-of-a-zen-monk">Achieve the Inner Balance of a Zen Monk</a>

Hi Tim,

Great post! Its true we are the one's who decide how we feel not others

Duane

The Persuasion Expert

I hadn't thought about it in a while (probably because I haven't heard it lately) but, you're right, I've had people say that to me a LOT in my life ... and ... it does definitely ruin the moment if you allow it to. And, it's difficult not to allow.

Sue Crutcher, Life Empowerment Mentor

Tim,

Yap, we need to have our independent thinking and self-evaluation.

Sure we need feedback & advice, but then we need to be discreet.

John Ho

Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (WordPress blog)

Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (Money Page)

Tim,

Great post. You are correct -- we cannot allow "stinkin' thinkers" to bring us down.

Darryl Pace

a guy I work with says "must be nice" all the time. It drives me nuts. I know he only does it to aggravate me but it still drives me nuts.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Services, Classes, and Tips

the only opinion that matters in the opinion you have of yourself.

Lynn Lane

www.warriorofsuccess.com

Great post - unmotivated and uninspired people do have a way of trying to bring you down to their level. It's hard to fight that sentiment sometimes - especially the closer the relationship.

Pam

<a href="http://www.greatwealth.com/retirementinvesting">Invest in Your Future</a>

every time i go on vacation someone has to say it. Must be nice. i always reply it sure is! and make sure i tell them every detail when i get back.

Don Shepherd

Oregon Flyfishing

Pleasing others is the most futile of pursuits. Be yourself and find out if that pleases them or not is far easier in the long run!

Philip Graves [Consumer Behaviour Articles]

Stopping by to say hi

HI!!!!!!

<a href=http://www.”jcmackenzie.com”>JCMACKENZIE.COM</a>

<a href=http://www.”jcmackenzie.com/butterflymarketingmanuscripthtml”>Butterfly Marketing</a>

Setting the boundaries for how we will let the people we CARE about affect us with what they say and do and how they feel is perhaps one of the things that I struggle with the most. If it is a stranger, not a problem. But you cannot be totally unaffected by the words, thoughts emotions and feelings of those close to you and yet you cannot allow them to rule you either....its a balance at all times....and not an easy one.
SunnyMarie,The Rhinestone Jewelry Expert
www.sunnymarie.com
www.sunnymarie.wordpress.com

'Acidic' Expectations

Comments

Post a comment

About Me

My Links

Neighborhood

Tags

Archives